our diet

It's now Day 4 of P90X, and I guess we haven't been as successful in updating this blog daily as we planned. But don't worry. We've been incredibly successful in getting ripped. Our original idea was to keep track of our diet on this blog so that you, the reader, could follow in our footsteps. I'll give you a food synopsis of the last four days. Day 1, I almost vomited cause all I ate was sardines. Later that day, me and Judd ate a lot of good healthy mexican food and had 2-for-1 margaritas at La Hacienda on Nolensville Pike. The next day me and Judd ate a lot of eggs and spinach and some more sardines. Then I feel like we ate some ice cream at some point, and maybe that was the night we ate beans and rice. And yesterday, I ate some yogurt and some more sardines and some more eggs. And it was Margaret's birthday so I ate some birthday cake and had a couple birthday shots of tequila. I think Judd had a Big Lebowski party, so he probably had caucasians for dinner. Thus far, our results have been great, so feel free to follow our plan explicitly.

We haven't really read the diet guide that came with the P90X system, but I'm guessing that Tony Horton would be proud. The true champion of the past few days has been our whey protein recovery drink which we mix with tap water and ice. It tastes great and makes you feel like you're engaging in some kind of illegal doping.

As to the actual P90X program, I assure you that the program's goal of confusing my muscles has been successful. My body is so confused. We did yoga yesterday, and I've never felt more like a Native American. We did about a hundred upward and downward dogs and a few sun god and warrior dog poses. And even though me and Judd have always been more the power-lifting/gym rat types, we both discovered that we have a lot to learn from the way Indians dance. The journey to the human heart really does begin with a single step.

Anyway, more P90X is on its way. We'll keep you updated. Irregularly.

the internet age and your body

So it's official (depending on whether Judd submits his blog before mine), but me and Judd are switching the emphasis of this blog away from the mind and putting the spotlight right onto our bodies. That's right. P90X. Those people that know us know that me and Judd have always had a passion for getting freaking ripped. We've been talking about it for a couple days at least. Well today is our big opportunity. We've been measuring out the amount of water we're allotted and figuring out a good diet plan that works for us. And we bought some kind of powder that you mix into something else that's supposed to do something.

Let me just reiterate something. P90X. For those of you who don't know what this is, take the stick of butter out of your mouth and google P90X. It's literally the only proven way to get freaking ripped, and that's exactly why me and Judd are doing it, because we aren't really risk takers, especially when it comes to our bodies. Those of you who know our bodies can testify that we don't take risks. So when we decided to get freaking ripped a couple days ago, it was our only natural choice.

Speaking of natural choices, a lot of people have written in and asked about the unnatural supplements we've decided to try. Namely, whey protein (pronounced like the Wii gaming console). Well, we haven't actually tried it. There's a narrow window of opportunity right after a workout where your body is literally primed for unnatural supplements and we're going to try it after we workout, which will happen whenever Maggie gets over here to take our before and after photos.

We'll try to keep you updated on the changes our bodies undergo. I'm sure it'll be intense.

Time to bring it

Cultural renewal starts with the individual. That's why Paul and I have decided to grow some 8 packs. That's right, we're getting ripped, and you can track our progress right here.

The program we chose is P90X, a 90 day low impact routine relying on natural exercises like push ups, sit ups, and pull ups. Anything ups. Lest you think it child's play, it's actually quite an intense work out. I know, because in the intro DVD, our P90X trainer/guide used the word "intense" 21 times. And I have no option but to trust him. After all, he has my abs in his hands.

After our abs and other muscular fibers like bi and tri ceps, forearms, gluts, maximus', pex, and forheads are perfected, we'll be able to implement the change our moral fiber wishes for. There's a wide range of social problems we will take on with our newfound physical prowess such as swimming to the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico and tightening the leaky oil valve down there once and for all, patrolling the U.S. border and detaining illegal immigrants, rebuilding the Brooklyn Dodgers stadium, and dancing.

It's truly an exciting time to be getting jacked. Come with us on a journey. A journey that will last 90 days (Unless I move out of town in a few weeks, which is likely). A journey that will change our bodies. See the bodies that will change the world. See the world that will be changed by the bodies, our bodies.